happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
