On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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