I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
