so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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