Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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