Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
