i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
