And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
