making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Randomize
