she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
