: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize