So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
