Where is the hickey?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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