i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize