then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
