my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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