Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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