I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
