Church boner. Awkwardddd
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
