Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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