I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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