Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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