Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
