I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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