So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
