I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
