Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
