I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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