Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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