We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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