haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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