I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize