his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize