So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
