It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
