So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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