Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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