This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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