My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
