Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
