hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
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I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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