Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
