I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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