mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
