Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So much Jack, so little girl.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am naked and annoyed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize