I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
