I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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