So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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