I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
