Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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