Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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