He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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