Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
love makes seman taste better
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
