the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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