why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
