Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize