she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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