I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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