but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
