Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
